Sunday, May 15, 2016

Hello dear readers!

It has been an age and a day since the last one.  Lots going on, not all of it good.  Can't find that joy in the heart.  Looking forward to some schooling and maybe making some money so I can continue my life as a human. If not, well, the little ones can have a go at it.

Z.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

mobile phones are marvellous inventions

Now ye can publish electronically
From sea to sea to icy sea
I didn't know, keep it under yer hat
On yer phone there's an app for dat.
Nao u c the changin tide
mek cher yer bonafide

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Mental Illness

If we are worried about something, obsessing over it, fearing it, and dreading negative outcomes regarding it, we are using our imaginations to build this something into a much larger problem than it may in fact be.  We make it a barrier to be avoided rather than a challenge to be faced and overcome.  It is much more dangerous to ourselves to continually avoid and put off facing our fears.  Trying, failing or succeeding, and reflecting on the outcome afterward, then perhaps even trying again, are necessary steps in learning.  Remember that we don't have to solve a problem all at once or have an immediate definitive solution.  But we do need to make an effort.  This effort does not need to define us, as lots of motivational-types encourage us to believe.  We don't want to lose our ability to remain aloof!  Stay cool, little ones.  Emotion can hinder rational thought and feed the power of fear; however, emotion can also be used in tandem with rational thought and provide our spirit a shield or armour, or wings, or whatever it is we need to face our challenges.

On another related note, I recently wrote the following to an acquaintance during a pretty low ebb in mood.  Seems fitting to throw it into the mix here:

Sometimes when I feel sick (in the head) it's better to put it out there to an acquaintance rather than someone I'm super close to. 1) there is a fear that I'll drive those few close ones away from me and 2) if you as an acquaintance choose to ignore the reaching-out, I can chalk it up to "ah well, we're not that close and it's obvious I'm a bit off, I can't expect her to understand". Why am I sharing this with you? I don't know, I guess it's part of fighting "the stigma" of mental illness, and seeing my second point (2) above as a cop-out on my part. It's hard to live life in a regular sort of way when the thoughts come at one like this. Swirling self-doubt, and yet I hold down two jobs and struggle along (only from time to time is it a struggle: it's not all bad). Yesterday was tough. And the resources aren't there for the highly functioning. I make my own resources. Thank you for being there, stranger. Please share as you see fit. Maybe it will help others to understand.

Friday, February 12, 2016

stupid AND annoying!

Lengthily misplaced breathers and cisterns,
Sorrow at our much unseeing! Many happy returns!

We are under the weather. When will we not be so? Outside a planet's atmosphere there is cosmic weather too, and it is much more deadly than any typhoon. Almost uninhabitable out there unless you are a tardigrade. Moss-piglet. Water-bear. Or pack an awful lot of kitchen sinks. Nuts, bolts, wrenches, pipes, bits of vomit, ball-bearings, clogs: all manner of what-have-you now floats up there making subsequent journeys to get away from conventional weather even more dangerous, and transforming plumbing into rocket-surgery. It is hubris! It is ironical, bionicles. Attempts to remove ourselves from the uncontrollable external forces that govern our existence only result in causing ourselves more bad weather. Just weather the storm my fiends! See you in heck.