witness to an accident

Of an evening, the progeny, the lady, and the tramp all went to a free, out-of-doors concert featuring the burgh's symphony orchestra. It was quite pleasant (with the exception of the swarms of mosquitos down by the river): McDermott sang a few chestnuts; the strange man who wears the colourful blouses, daisy-dukes and pork-pie hat played second baton; the little ones had fun. The place was packed, and finding parking near at hand was impossible, but aside from that and the blood-suckers, it was not a bad outing.

Once the family had all bundled into the car and were safely on the road, the real danger began. They came to a stop at a red light behind a car with British Columbian plates. They remained there for a good part of the succeeding green light as well while the driver ahead sat, immobile. The friendly, one-short-honk was duly applied, and when the driver still didn't move, the tramp, who was chauffeur, pulled out to pass. That, of course, is when the man in front finally moved, changing lanes so he was still ahead, then moving back into the original lane, all without a single signal. At the red light, he stopped about one-and-a-half car lengths from the stop line, so the family passed and pulled up well ahead in the other lane.

"Let some other driver sit waiting behind this weirdo,"  thinks chauffeur-tramp. Then, suddenly, most unadvisedly, the man from British Columbia throws his car into reverse and drives with full acceleration smack into the car behind him.

Yells of angry disbelief rang out, and the family shot out of there, not wishing to become victims of stab wounds that night. Upon arriving home, the tramp phoned non-emergency police to report this strange event. No one else had phoned it in. The erratic behaviour of the man from British Columbia was described. A statement would have to be taken in person since no record of this incident had been reported. The call was ended. Puzzlement tugged at features creating a confused grimace on the face of the reporter. A piggy-wiggy squealed dementedly in the distance.

"But," thought the tramp, "that accident was meant for us...!"